LIFE IS A BIG BITCH.....

LIFE... what the heck is this word... ? to me, its a bitch. sometimes nice when something is necessary, other times it makes u go crazy. what is it? you know, maybe im feeling very unwell at this moment, but this is driving me nuts. someone up there gave us such a gift called life.. with free will and all that shit around it. he gave us love and sin into our life. but you know what is funny? every time i start to believe that a thing could come true, that maybe the one up there cares for me, everything falls like a packet of cards. why is that? that when i ask for carefulness and love, he gives me disappointment and tears? you know, people out there, im starting to doubt that the one up there even knows that i exist..

... not so long ago, on friday, my boyfriend, now my ex... told me that we should be friends to get to know each other.. you know, i prayed every night of our relationship to god, to give me the strength and the ability to stay longer with him. on thursday i had this kind of feeling inside of me. something was telling me that something is wrong, but my boyfriend played it cool that we are ok. why did he do that? he dumped me when we were together on a party away from the city and i cried the whole night and evening. i never cried for a guy, and never wanted to... but i guess i experienced the first signs of love... if only my ex would realize that in such a short time u cant get to know a person and if he gave me more time.... maybe it would change.. but it will never come back, becuase i stopped believing... so easy as that... wrong but when you are in a painful situation, crying every day that you miss him as hell and when you look at him you exactly know what you lost because you know that he was the best thing you could ever have, even if he promised you that he wont begin a new relationship until we wont straighten things out, and that he believes that we will be together but we have to get to know each other better, that he will write you every day to see if ur ok and ur relationship wont change only that he wont give you kiss... when you realize all the things he tells you, then you realize that what exactly you lost.. but one thing i hate... i hate that he dumped me because he didnt know me well... tell me urself... dont u get to know a person the best when you are with them? every time i wake up in the morning and i realize that he is the person from whom i had my phone filled with messages. he is the person which hugged me and spent every day with me.. and now that i think about it... it hurts sooo bad... so bad...

you know.... if i didnt pray, if i didnt ask god to help me in tears, i would have some trust. but this way im starting to doubt that anything of that never existed.  you know how i feel? i feel like a total idiot which fell in love with the perfect guy, but the perfect guy realized im not too good enough. it hurts because when i realize that i wanted to stay so long with him and he didnt give me a chance.. what should i do? he wants to stay friends, to get to know me... but thats a lie..because if he truely wanted to... he would never dump me right?

life.............. life is a thing i would want to loose now to just feel better...

tHe MarCH and Other Changes..

hello people.

i finally came to update. so busy these days.... doing nothing:) we have the easter break until next wednesday... so i just had to write some words here. i didnt come to update since february so some details from my life:

on valentines day i didnt come to school. i missed school because we wrote some kinda test, and thank god i didnt:) hehe..

then there were some days off we got from school.... my friend got togehter with one guy from a disco club... and went out with him for two weeks.. she dumped him cuz she wanted freedom.. so now i am supposed to go with in for coffee:)

me and my friends also changed our hangout place. we used to go to this bar for almost two years... but everything changed cuz many kids started coming there... like 12-13 yeaar olds... crazy crazy.. we started changing and going to every kind of bar... and yesterday it was the best i guess:) anyways.. let me tell u about our experience from thursday. me and my friend mima went to our old hangoutplace.. that bar is called piton. we loved it there. well we sat in a box for six people... and we were like 4 or 5 gurls talking. then this guy... totally drunk 30 year old .. came walking up to us. asking if he can sit down. my friend told him what he expected us to say and he walked away. then in two minutes he was  back again... but he came to me with a bottle of shampagne.. saying:you gotta drink with me, ok? '.. i looked at him saying that i wont drink alone, only if my friends do. so he went to the waitress asking for glasses.. the other waitress came and said that the police controll will come so we should not do that:) but my friend heard that the bottle wasnt paid.. but it wasss.. so my friend told him we cant cuz its not paid.. he got mad, pulled out 250 krowns and threw it on our table, and left.. wowww.. we celebrated

we were in the discoclub... oh maan.. it was awesome:) we are plannin to go again on monday cuz there will be an easter disco:)my cousins came from england and usa... and my bro has his birthday tomorrow... 25!!!!... yahooo..:)) hehehe

now let me show u some pix....

disco club idea.... my friends livia, mima and me.

disco club idea... my friends livia, mima and me

me and mima... idea disco club

mima and me... idea disco club

ill update some more pix later..

now a song :)

ATOMIC KITTEN - SOMEONE LIKE ME

Don't let your head rule you heart

Don't let your world be torn apart

Don't keep it all to yourself

Just let all your emotions run free with someone like me

That's the way it should be

Someone like me



I know Its hard when you're feeling down

To lift your feet up off the ground

We make mistakes but doesn't everybody

You don't always have to agree with someone like me

That's the way it should be

Someone like me



We know the story so far (what you want and who you are)

What you want and who you are (Free)

Let all your emotions run free

You don't always have to agree

With someone like me

That's the way it should be

Someone like me

Someone like me

hola everyone:) mm lets see.. whats new? well ive been to the valentines ball on the 3rd. it was very fun and had an awesome partner but he was trying to get more... so pretty much annoying. well then we went to the club to have some fun. it was awesome. next day i had to wake up earlier cuz my mom celebrated birthday..then the night was awful..i talked to my guy friend for five hours straight.. and slept only two hours for school. well the week after the ball.. was pretty relaxin but also exhaustin... cuz of all the tests and everything but im here... its friday... ive been out with my friends today. it was fun and had a meeting with a guy friend.. well. thats prolly it. pix down.

DRAMA DORK--
[x] Ever been in a play? - unfortunately yeah:) christmas one
[x] Know of more than 10 Broadway shows?- i would have to think
[x] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows? ive been.. and i am not thank god
[x/ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way? - no
[x] Want to end up working in/for theater- no
[x] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical? - some
[x] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!- oh yeah:))babyy
[x] Are you always being dramatic and blowing things out of proportion- never
Total
--REDNECK--
[] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?- no
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?- no
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?- no
[x] Do you like to get dirty in mud? -yesss
[] Do you like country music?- sure
[] Do you have a broken car in your backyard?- no
[] Do you own a cowboy hat? - yea baby
[] Do you live on more then 1 acre?- mm dunno
[] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?- nope
Total
--GOTH--
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?- yes
[] Is most of your clothing dark?- no way
[] Do you think about death?- no
[] Do you want to die?- no
[] Are you a social outcast?- nope
[] Are you pale?- no
[x] Do you like Hot Topic? -no
[x]do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?- no
] Are you mean sometimes?- yeah
Total
--SKATER/PUNK--
[] Can you skateboard?- hahaha u joking?
[]Do you wear Vans/Emerica/Etnies/any skate shoe?- yeah i have a pair
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?- of course
[] Do you watch the x-games?- no
[x] Do you have any piercing's? ears.. three and one
[] you wear a mohawk?-no
[x] Do you wear Band T-shirts- no
[] Have you called someone a poser recently?- no
Total
--PREP--
[x] Do you say the word "like"? ehm yeah
[] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch- sometimes
[] Do you pop the collar?- no
[] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?- nah
[] Is the only nerd u like Seth Cohen?- no
[] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?- no
[] Do you like pop music?- yeah
[] do you have a little dog?- i love 'em
Total
--HIPPIE--
[x] Is your hair long?- yeah
[] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?- no
[] Do You want to save the animals?- yeah
[x] Do you think war is unnecessary?- yeah
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music? - no
[] Have you ever participated in a protest?- yeah
[x] have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?- yeah
Total
--GANGSTA--
[] Do you act ghetto?- haha. sometimes
[] Do you wear do-rags?- no
[] Do you like hip-hop? - love it
[] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?- eh.. maybe
[] Do you believe he's alive?- who he?
[x] Do you like afro's?- yeeeeah baby
[] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?- ehm.. yeah
[x] Do you like to dance?- love it
[] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit? - yeah
Total
--EMO--
[] Do you cry often?-no
[x] Do you wear hoodies?-yes
[x] Do you like soft music?-yes
[]do people not understand you?-no
[]Do you write your own poems?-no
[x]Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?-no
[] Do you cut your own hair?-no
[] Are you lonely?-no
[]is Hawthorne Heights a good band?-no
Total
--SURFER--
[] Do you surf?--haha no 
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round? - ehmno
[] Is your hair shaggy?- no
[] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?- noo
[] Do you own Many pairs of shorts?- yeah
[] Do you yearn for the smell of salt water?-yeah
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?-yeeeah
[x] Do you hate tourists?-no
Total
--GEEK--
[x] Do you wear glasses?-no
[x] Do you use an inhaler?-no
[] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?-no
[] Does your mom pick out your clothes? -no
[x] Are you on the computer often?-no
[x] Do you ever get picked on?-no
[x]Do you look forward to goin to school? -no
[] Are you shy around the opposite sex?-yea sometimes
[]Do you play video games?-no
Total
--JOCK--
[x] Do you own alot of nike, addidas, or underarmor?yup
[] Do you love the smell of fresh cut grass?yea
[] Are you constantly worrying about being inshape?yeah
[x] Do you let people kno its game day by yelling it throught the halls?no
[x] Do you play 2 or more sports?no
[] ]You love grass stains, mud, and hurting people- no
[x] A whistle blowing pumps ur addrenalin- haha yeaah
[x] Are you very school spirited?- no
Total

me, mimka and livia

me, mimka and livia

mimka, dominka, livika and me

 mom's bday

love ya'll... HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO EVERYONE if by chance i dont come to update.

nothins new. the first semester is over and we got holiday on friday.. the half year holiday during which i have a valentines party at one school. got invited by my friend so im goin:) then we're gonna go to some kinda club if possible. so love yaz.. now....

i got this from one of my friends xanga. wanna try it:)) hehe.. it looks pretty cool:)

A silly name game thing. You write down 21 names off the top of your head without looking at the questions first. So I did. Kinda funny if you ask me.

1. Nika

2. Tina

3. Mirka

4. Livia

5. Mimka

6. Dominka

7. Slavka

8. Sima

9. Janka

10. Samo

11. Janik

12. Edo

13. Ruben

14. Mato

15. Marek

16. Adam

17. Milan

18. Miso

19. Vlado

20. Rasto

21. Alena

Okay, now question time :)

How did you meet 14?
- in this club during the new years party. he's really awesome.

What would you do if you had never met 6?
- i wouldnt have a superior popular friend:)

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
- ehm.. that would prolly never happen. they totally dont match.. and i would prolly kill her..:))

Did you ever like 5?
- she's my friend, i still like her... as a person and a friend 

Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
- naah.. he's a blond guy and never stops talking. she likes dark guys who listen to her:)

Describe 8:
- my roommate, awesome friend, bitchy gurl:), guys love her, proud of herself

Do you think 13 is attractive:
- oooh yeah:)) he's sexi... the ideal guy:))

Tell me something humiliating about 17?
- hehe... well.. on christmas eve he got drunk and made out with this pretty much unattractive gurl he would never consider being with. and then didnt remember where he dragged her:)poor guy, i tease him about it until now:)

Do you know any of 4's family members?
- yeah.. her sister, mom.. and i didnt see dad yet:)

Are number 7 & 8 Best friends?
- no.. they dont know each other well

Do you like 4?
- she's alrite.  

---eeello everyone:))

 its been almost a week or something and im updating again. so what to say... today is the last day of the year of 2005! can u believe it? i remember when it was the millenium year 2000 and i thought to myself... man.. what will i do in year 2005... now i think to myself.... what will i do in year 2010:) the time flies so fast over here. i always have something to do, someone to talk to or somewhere to go. and today... december 31st... 2005..-can u believe that?-  is the time to say all the sorries, take back all the things we want to take back, and be in peace with everyone we love:)

...and of course make good revolutions for the new year 2006. but as to mine.. ill keep them secret:)

so what do i have in plan for new years eve? well me and my friends are meeting at 9:30 pm and going to my friends house... her parents arent home so we are gonna celebrate it the way we are supposed to. when the clock signals its 00:00, we will start the REAL party:) but ill come back to update with pictures and details later. cuz i still have no idea if its gonna be as fun as i think it will be:) alrite.. thats pretty much it.. ill update as soon as possible. its 5:55 here.. and prolly we got a problem.. cuz we got only one bottle of shampaigne.. and thats not enough.. so i have to work something out.. alrite. love you all...sending kisses..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 AND OF COURSE THE FUNNEST NEW YEARS EVE EVER...